Lizzie’s Choice: A Tender Lesson in Authenticity

I heard a knock on my door and I asked "who is it?"

A faint voice said "Lizzie". It was the eldest daughter of my neighbours, just 6 years old. Lizzie usually brings me my mail, because the postman conveniently leaves my mail with my neighbour, usually never bothering to ring my doorbell.

I opened the door and saw Lizzie holding a letter towards me. With a smile, I took the letter. It was a letter from the HSE, inviting me to make a medical appointment for a retinal scan.

I looked at Lizzie through my glasses. She looked back at me through her own pink glasses. I smiled. She smiled back.

I said "I guess that since you're my personal mail carrier you get to choose your reward. Ice-cream or chocolate?"

Lizzie's face lit up, but then looked at me shy and confused. She said "You choose."

I said "I think you have a preference, Lizzie. What do you like most?"

I was surprised, because she seemed genuinely distressed. On one hand, she was craving a treat, but on the other hand she didn't have enough courage towards me to freely state what she wanted.

I slowly began reassuring her, that she could always expect treats from me and that her choice of the kind of treat would not stop me from giving her treats.

I told her that she didn’t have to think about me when I asked her to choose the kind of treat and that it wasn't a trick question.

I told her that no matter what, she could trust me, to give her always what she really wanted.

After a while I saw a smile lighting up her face. She said "chocolate".

I smiled. "Are you sure you want chocolate? Is this your choice?"

She nodded, still unsure, but more sure than before.

I gave her a Swiss chocolate bar and her eyes lit up. I picked her up and hugged her. I felt her small arms struggling to reach around my neck.

In that moment, I understood that Lizzie is just going through the beginnings of her own conditioning, while developing and subconsciously applying the filters of her mind, slowly affecting her freedom in life. Without noticing, she was becoming less of who she truly is.

Instantly, in a burst of unconditional love and almost tearing up, I vowed to help her whenever I could to delay or even to help defeat her conditioning, if I could, so that she wouldn't have to grow up like me or any other conditioned adult, limited by our own ego. We adults have lost our authenticity and have become stuck in our need to filter our responses and reactions throughout our interactions with other humans, based on what we believe that others think of us. We have become oblivious to the fact that if we reverted to being our authentic selves, other people would genuinely appreciate that, fostering loving relationships, unburdened by the mind's filters. Being our selves allows others to be themselves.

I became aware, that I was hugging an innocent child amidst all the war and destruction that was raging in the world. I thought, the Middle East is still on fire, as if the war between Russia and Ukraine was not enough. It felt good to be one's true Self.

Then, I became aware of my own conditioning. Here I was, an unmarried and childless man hugging a child of my neighbours. What would her parents think? What would anybody else think? People are quick to judge, even if that judgment is baseless; their minds quickly jumping to conclusions that are unreal.

I quickly put Lizzie down and I gently told her once more, that she would always get the kind of treat she preferred, if she would answer me, whenever I asked her. With a smile on her face she ran back to her house, which was in front of mine, crossing the backyard.

I was left thinking how much confusion and how many misunderstandings could have been avoided if we just were our selves and didn't judge others. This is just like telling each other white lies to shelter our selves from harm not realizing that we do more harm than good in the long run.

Telling white lies damages both individuals. The one saying them and the one hearing them.

White lies are still lies and telling them damages our self. Would it not be much more easier on our selves if we didn't say anything or just say the truth?

I sat down and imagined how beautiful the world would be if we just told everything how it is, without sugarcoating, exaggerating or withholding anything… How much more beautiful, loving and worthwhile our lives would be, if we simply chose to lead authentic lives.

Pondering further, I reminisced upon an earlier insight. Being authentic requires courage. Courage to change our selves. Courage to bypass our mind's filters. Courage to speak and listen from the Heart. Not all bad reputation is true and not all good reputation is totally devoid of badness. We are all paradoxical beings with a bright and a dark side.

And we are all in the same boat, learning about our broken conscious selves, while striving to become our true Selves. There are no exceptions. We are all doing that with each other and through each other, while we are all magically connected with invisible ties, in ways our limited minds can't fathom. We are all helping each other, whether we know that, or not. If we knew that, then perhaps our conscious choices in life would be different, more Heart-based, more compassionate and more loving.