Turning Regret into Radiance: How to Heal the Past and Live from the Heart
I find myself revisiting old moments, wondering how I might have acted differently – yet the past itself cannot be altered. Still, perhaps its meaning can. Many of us linger on lost loves, on relationships that slipped away or that we pushed aside, feeling the sting of heartbreak. That pain often stems from a bruised ego and the fragile wounds it creates, not from a Heart‑centered way of living. As we mature, we gain the chance to grow wiser – if we are willing to embrace those lessons and let them guide us toward a more authentic, Heart‑aligned life.
Balanced romantic relationships are not devoid of friendship, nor do friendships preclude the possibility of romantic aspects emerging in the relationship. Love is fluid and goes where the Heart commands. As some of you know, I am a huge Star Trek fan. There is this memorable interaction between Counselor Troi and Commander Riker, that every Trekkie knows. Commander Riker asks Counselor Troi: “Counselor, do you think it's possible for two people to go back in time, fix a mistake they've made?” Troi responds in a dreamy and thought-provoking way: “On this ship, anything's possible.” At this point we should remember that they both serve on the Enterprise, the flagship of Starfleet, representing its best capabilities and virtues throughout various missions in the Star Trek universe. They have a complex relationship, marked by mutual respect and emotional support.
We shape the world we experience. Think back to a day when you woke up irritated, only to have a handful of moments turn the tide and leave you feeling uplifted. It isn’t merely chance that altered your mood; it was your response to your perceived reality that redirected the flow. Had those moments failed to resonate, the gloom would have lingered. The power to pivot lies within each of us – our free will in action. Every choice, whether to view an event through a negative or a positive lens, carries its own consequence, and that very choice is what writes the story of our reality as we perceive it through our own individual lens.
Multidimensionality is at the core of our existence. We are not our bodies. We are not even our minds and Hearts. We are the tiny spark of consciousness that reaffirms to itself in all eternity: “I am”. This means that we can take the mind anywhere and most importantly anywhen. I know this is a weird word. As you can guess, it simply means “at any point in time”, just like anywhere means “at any point in space”. I am not getting tired of repeating that the universe is infinite not merely in size, but also in all its aspects, which are also infinite.
Beyond the fear of the unknown, we discover that infinity itself becomes a powerful catalyst for the evolution of our consciousness. We honor the unknown for what it truly is – a mystery not yet revealed – rather than the stories our conditioned minds invent, and in doing so we ignite genuine curiosity.
Because the past still calls to us, we return to it armed with fresh insights – wisdom wrested from the unknown, often through hardship. In that new light the past reveals more insights itself and becomes sacred, a testament to growth and transformation. In hindsight our experiences pulse with life – not merely for the pain endured, but for the clear thread they weave into our life’s story. They turn the abstract rise of consciousness into tangible wisdom, grounding evolution in everyday meaning. I am grateful for the pain and suffering that have crossed my path. They have pulled back life’s hidden backstage, revealing its intricate choreography – something a comfortable, challenge‑free existence in spirit form could never teach. Each shock‑and‑awe moment on Earth accelerates our growth, deepening the richness of our lives.
We should wear our wounds as badges of honor, where each scar represents a stepping stone toward the unknown. Wounds point the way and reveal the nature of what lies ahead, carving a personal trail through existence. Like a weary yet intrepid explorer forging a path through a dense and yet unexplored rainforest, let’s elevate our suffering and transform it in into a compass that guides us forward. The wounds are fleeting – mere bruises to the ego, shadows of a temporary self that glimpse the lessons woven into our pre‑designed journey. When we recognize them as the result of the limited roles we play in this life and any other, we release them, allowing our own true Self to emerge and reassert itself.
This process cannot be accomplished if we dwell in our painful past or crave a pain-free future. It needs to be carried out in the present. Taking stock of ourselves is done in the present moment. One might say that the past is the ledger of karma we balance in the present, so that we may step forward into a future where each debt is settled and every intention unfolds with clarity and purpose.
I have been a victim and a perpetrator all my life, in fact in all my lifetimes, extracting life lessons from the same polarities through multiple vantage points and nuanced attitudes. I am a work in progress and so are you. I believe that, in the near future, we’ll look back on our own histories – and those of others – with deep compassion, armed with the wisdom our experiences have forged to transcend the conditioned mind.
As we mature, we often hear that we’re “set in our ways,” and the old adage about an old dog that can’t learn new tricks suddenly feels like a joke reflected back at us. The first time I sensed this shift, I was stunned – my youthful vigor seemed to have left an empty space I longed to fill. Yet, as I reflected, I realized each stage of life gifts us a fresh viewpoint, and clinging to any one stage of it robs us of the insights that follow. We don’t have to be trapped in any chapter of our life’s story; instead, we can cultivate agility, pivoting to meet the moment’s call. When life’s demands change, rigid habits only stall our evolution – flexibility becomes the path forward. Within that flexibility we honor the vigor of youth, the insight of middle age, and the depth of old age, weaving them into a joyful narrative where experience transforms into wisdom rather than lingering in pain.
It is then when wisdom reveals to us the fundamental importance of unconditional love and not before. The impetuousness of youth, the reflective curiosity of middle age, and the serene wisdom of maturity together compose the full arc of a life lived fully from the vantage point it was designed to be lived – each stage energizing the next, turning restless vigor into thoughtful insight and finally into quiet, compassionate knowingness. I wasn’t born with all the answers, nor did I ever want to be. With each passing year I’ve felt the truth of “empowerment through knowledge” deepen within me.
When we chase answers to “Why did that relationship crumble?” or “Why did one job drain me while another fulfilled me?” we’re framing our life’s conundrum the wrong way. By posing those questions, we alert our True Self that we’re ready to choose the red pill – rejecting the comforting illusion of a false identity. That’s because these questions are superficial. Our authentic Self answers from the standpoint of what truly propels our evolution, not from what we merely wish to hear, because wishful answers would keep us trapped in illusion.
You might ask at this point what multidimensionality has to do with all this and why I brought up the interaction between Counselor Troi and Commander Riker earlier. Recognizing multidimensionality through our expanding consciousness carries a powerful, two‑fold purpose. First, we become aware of our Heart‑centered senses, allowing us to feel truth beyond the mind. Second, it reveals the vast, blossoming reality that surrounds us – far greater than the drama of a single blue planet drifting in empty space. Anyone who clings to the notion that everything happens only here will, in divine timing, be awakened by their own growing awareness.
Once more, “empowerment through knowledge” rings true. Knowledge no longer belongs solely to the mind; we are steadily crossing the threshold into Heart‑centered understanding. Let us celebrate the moment when we recognize this truth. Insight takes many shapes and it is not unfolding solely through the mind anymore. Each new understanding signals an awakened consciousness. Let “empowerment through knowledge” become our guiding creed, allowing its inspiration to steer our lives. When curiosity sparks, we intuitively dive deeper, experiencing and learning what our evolution calls for. We need not cling to old habits; now is the time to leave the ordinary behind and step into a magical realm where possibility unfolds, guided by the wisdom of our True Self.
The road we walk may bring us into the shadow of hardship – pain that feels inevitable. Yet the weight of suffering is not fixed. When we refuse the lessons life offers, we forge our own anguish, and that anguish deepens the longer we cling to yesterday’s grip. I have been forced to relearn this truth again and again.
A mind dulled by a closed Heart loses its edge; it becomes clouded, unable to see clearly. Holding fast to the past traps us in a relentless cycle, replaying misery and blocking the doorway to a brighter tomorrow, which awaits only a liberated, unburdened mind. We recognize amidst repeated suffering, that the path to liberation goes through the deconstruction of the character we play in life.
The only force capable of rescuing us from the misery we create for our character is our true Self. Unlike the fleeting ego – limited to this single lifetime and bound to the mind’s temporary narratives – our true Self has accompanied us through every incarnation. Because it speaks from the depth of the Heart, it can persuade where the mind, exhausted and short‑sighted, cannot.
When we truly see the difference, pain remains an inevitable part of life, but suffering no longer has to be. By simply acknowledging the hurt, learning its lesson, and releasing it, we choose freedom. The decision to cling to that pain is what binds us to the past; letting it go opens the path to the joyful future we deserve.
We should embrace the quiet invitation of that enduring Self; let its steady heartbeat dissolve the illusions of our conditioned mind and watch as each conscious step clears the path toward a future shaped not by fear, but by the unwavering certainty that the deepest part of you already knows the way forward.
Beyond the veil of illusion lies the promised treasure – a radiant pot of gold that is our true Self, waiting for us as the ultimate reward. The future does not lie ahead; it unfolds in this very instant, sparked by our earnest quest to uncover that authentic essence within.
If you’d like to watch the light-hearted conversation between Counselor Troi and Commander Riker please go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5T865ohDS8
Disclaimer: I do not own the content presented in the above YouTube video. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.